Black Swan Cookies: The Search for Skinny Perfection

Here at The Ugly Pancake, we have a collective boner for Natalie Portman.  She's got it all: adorable charm, brains, girl-next-door sex-appeal, an Oscar, an edgy sense of humor, and a cute little ass that won't quit.  In the acclaimed movie, Black Swan, Natalie was on a quest.  A journey to skinny perfection, in a fat, flawed world. 

We are on the same quest.  Amidst the pillowy, cakey, even...pudgy...cookies in this world, we seek a perfectly thin and chewy chocolate chip cookie.  Crispy around the edges, yet inexplicably (given its shape) soft and fudgy in the middle.  Big, too - like the size of your face.  What Natalie achieved through not eating, having a sexual experience with Mila Kunis, ripping her skin off, and eventually killing herself - we will achieve through many batches of cookies, taste tests, judgment, and failures, probably.

As always, we were inspired by the Food Network to embark on this journey.  They have a new show, Sugar High, where Duff Goldman pulls a Guy Fieri except exclusively with desserts.  I (Kathleen) have an affinity for Chef Duff from his former show, Ace of Cakes.  They make beautiful cakes at Charm City Cakes, and Duff has one of my dream jobs - the boss of all of his friends at a bakery!  Anyway, in its first episode, Sugar High explored L.A. and found a lady who makes the type of cookie that which we now seek.  They made our collective mouth water, and set our collective brain ablaze.  Imagine the things we could shove in between two (ugly) pancake-thin cookies!

Our first try was unsuccessful.  While delicious, the batch that we made ended up becoming more like cookie brittle.  They broke apart into some crunchy, some chewy pieces.  In my own amateur expert opinion, I believe they were under greased, and over baked.  We also made them too large.  In the spirit of trying and trying again, we will post our mistakes, learn from them, and move on.  I got the recipe from a book about cookies, but now I will try the actual recipe for the cookies that were on TV, and put an Ugly Pancake twist on it. (Note: I found the actual recipe while I was adding links to this entry, and added it to this entry.)

Instead of a perfect thin chocolate chip cookie, we made ugly chocolate chip-oatmeal cookie brittle.  However, intelligent readers know that a rose is still sweet by any other name.  ...Or whatever Shakespeare said.  You know what I mean.  They still tasted good and they can be used for many other things.

Until next time, reader(s).